Why do we say ‘Yes’ when we really mean ‘No’.....?
“Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough.” ~Josh Billings
If you’re human, then you’ve probably been in a situation where you found yourself saying yes to something, when in your heart you really wanted to say no. And when you’re tired, irritable, stressed out and too busy already, this is a poor way to take care of yourself.
We need to remember that if we’re not fit and healthy, then we’re not going to be of much use to anyone else. Taking care of you first will actually help you better take care of others as well. It's just like when the steward on an airplane says, ‘If the cabin pressure is lost, put your own mask on first, before helping others.’
The first step in breaking this habit, is to understand why we do it?
Here are some common reasons we say yes when we want to say no:
We don’t want to feel guilty
We don’t want to disappoint or upset others
We don’t have the right words to say no nicely and with kindness
We fear conflict and have a desire to keep the peace – keeping us from telling the truth
We want people to like us and are uncomfortable when they don’t
In order for you to change your habit of saying yes when you mean no, you first have to be aware of when you are doing it and understand why you are doing it.
Try to think back over the past month to see if there were any situations where you said yes and really wanted to say no.
Can you identify:
Who was it with?
From the common reasons list above, why do you think you said yes?
How did you feel doing that situation saying yes, when you really didn’t want to?
What impact did it have on you and the situation?
Be gentle with yourself as you explore this. Understanding yourself deeper can help you choose differently the next time. Taking care of yourself is important. YOU are important. Sometimes it's really okay to just say no.